Game of Thrones New Episode Review: 'High Sparrow' Kidnaps Tyrion, Turns Jon Snow Dark, Puts Sansa in Danger

Season 5 of HBO's Game of Thrones continued its strong start Sunday night with "High Sparrow," which forged some intriguing new alliances and positioned some characters in places they would rather not be.

Let's start in Westeros, as that's where the bulk of the action took place this week. In King's Landing, Margarey Tyrell married King Tommen to become the new queen. Tommen apparently isn't old enough to rule, but he is old enough to consummate the marriage with his new bride, who has her hooks so deeply into him that I'm surprised she's not literally wielding him like a puppet.

Margarey used their post-coital pillow talk to manipulate her new husband against her mother-in-law, Cersei Lannister. The new queen knows that Cersei is an evil shrew, and she's doing all she can to deport her to Casterly Rock so she can have King's Landing all to herself.

Cersei, of course, is too shrewd to just roll over, so she returned fire by trying to twist her son back to her side. After that exchange, she confronted Margarey directly in what was one of the most passive agressive dialogues in the history of this show. I felt like I was watching a family sitcom or a Real Housewives show, but I was loving every second of it.

The rest of Cersei's time in this episode dealt with the High Septor, who couldn't hold up the pillar of religion in Westeros because he was too busy in one of Littlefinger's brothels. This didn't sit well with the Sparrows, who assaulted the high priest and forced him to wander the streets naked. 

But rather than aid the religious leader, Cersei elected to throw him in jail and forge an alliance with the High Sparrow instead. We're all waiting to see Cersei get what's coming to her (and in some ways, she already has), but it's always intriguing to watch her plot and scheme and set her plans in motion. Her choice here will likely become clear sooner rather than later.

Further north, Littlefinger brought Sansa Stark to Roose Bolton (the man who killed her brother, Robb) to marry his son, the completely psychotic Ramsay. Fans of the book have been freaking out about this because, in George R.R. Martin's original work, the plot involves a woman who looks like Sansa and pretends to be here. On the show, the actual Stark daughter is set to wed Ramsay.

Having never read the books, I can't say this particular development set me on fire the way it did the novel readers, but my immediate and overriding reaction was "This poor girl!" Is it impossible for her to be attached to a man who isn't a completely deranged lunatic? People love to hate Sansa, but her life has been absolute crap for the entire duration of this series. At least now, as Littlefinger said in his speech, she can try to avenge her family from the inside, so here's hoping she gets to dish out some revenge.

Even further north, Jon Snow rebuffed Stannis Baratheon's offer to become the Lord of Winterfell again by taking back the North. Jon continued on his path of duty and honor and all that, but he was quickly tested when Slynt (who, unbeknownst to Jon, is at least partially responsible for Ned Stark's death) refused his order to tend to a decrepid castle along the Wall. Jon, after some brief hesitation, decided to behead the old man to put everyone on notice that there's a new Lord Commander in town. Even Alastair moved out of the way in a gesture of support for Jon! The execution earned an "atta boy" nod from Stannis, so something tells me his stay at Castle Black isn't over yet.

Over in the east, Arya muddled through her new duties at the House of Black and White and wondered why exactly Jaqen brought her there just to sweep floors and wash corpses. He told her that she was still clinging to Arya Stark, an identity she must shed if she wants to become no one. And she did that, except for her inability to get rid of Needle, the sword given to her by her brother, Jon Snow. She'll have to dispose of it eventually, but it was touching to see her unable to part with the blade.

There's also a theory going around that Jaqen is actually Syrio Forel, the man who trained her to use a sword in Season 1. I'm on board with it, but check it out for yourself and let us know what you think.

And finally, Tyrion could no longer take his confinement in the wagon and dragged Varys outside into the streets of Volantis. The two headed to a brothel, where Tyrion found himself unable to lie with a woman because of his memories of Shae. Unfortunately, his time there ended when Jorah spotted him and kidnapped him. He said he was taking the dwarf to "the queen." If that means getting to Daenerys more quickly, then I'm all for it. But if he meant Cersei, then I fear for the little guy's life.

High marks all around for this episode, and Game of Thrones shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon.

Notes:

- The scene between Tommen and Margarey in bed was both amusing and disturbing. Amusing because of his comments ("Did I hurt you?" "This is all I want to do, all day, every day, for the rest of my life!") but disturbing because, unless I'm mistaken, he is but a child and she is a grown woman.

- Tyrion's response to the guard who said "It's good luck to rub a dwarf's head" was...I love Tyrion. That's it.

- The scene between Brienne and Pod was uplifting and gave us more of a glimpse into the knight's mind and heart. I hope she drives her sword right through Ramsay's neck.

What did you think of "High Sparrow"? Let us know in the comments section.