How I Met Your Mother Recap: "The Fortress", Barney Stinson Gives Up His Bachelor Pad? [WATCH FULL EPISODES]

First off, if you haven't watched Episode 8 of "How I Met Your Mother", view it in full HERE.

Okay, still here? Good. This week's episode is all about marital issues and compromise. Unfortunately, it's about as fun as it sounds. Luckily for the viewers Barney's wedding is approaching which means Ted WILL meet the mother relatively soon.

The episode starts with Barney and Robin lying in bed in Barney's apartment. Robin wants Barney to get rid of his bachelor pad (which would probably be visible from space under a black light) and lose the ghosts of over 200 one-night stands. Barney agrees to sell the place and begins looking for potential buyers (read: Ted).

In the meanwhile, Ted and Marshall have just put baby Marvin to sleep via the over-the-top "Marvin's Lullaby" with Ted standing in for Lily. Lily hasn't been home much since accepting a job as an art consultant for the Captain, who calls her at all hours to send her around the New York City picking up new art (throughout the episode she goes to Rikers Island for art by an inmate, buys a sculpture of a plutocrat made out of foreign currency, and purchases a billboard that a Cambodian drag queen has thrown glitter at). Ted trys to cheer Marshall up by watching an episode of "Woodworthy Manor" an obvious parody of Downtown Abbey, and references to the faux-show's aristocratic characters permeate the episode. Marshall refuses the offer as "Manor" is his and Lily's show.

That holds until Lily bails on her and Marshall's "night at the ballet" (which is code for "surreptitiously banging in Ted's apartment") and Marshall decides to watch Manor with Ted as an act of revenge.

Afterwards, Barney attempts to pass on his "Fortress of Barnitude" to Ted (making it a "Fortress of Soli-Ted"). He conveys this message through a floating Jor-El style hologram head that he has installed in the apartment. Barney only uses the Jor-El technology for important messages, like the fact that Wendy's came out with a spicy version of the Baconator. Ted passes on the offer saying "Barney, I wouldn't live here even if you scrubbed every inch of this place with Purell, amoxicillin and holy water."

When he relates this story to Robin, she gets frustrated with his seeming lack of effort to get rid of his place. Sensing trouble, Barney uses his bed's Ho-B-Gone technology (the wall opens up, the bed slides out on train tracks and a new bed takes its place) to be rid of Robin. This is a bit strange as Barney admitted earlier, he had no idea where the beds go or if it is possible to get out.

But Robin does get out and puts on an open house at Barney's as payback. During the open house, Marshall and Ted pretend to be an interested gay couple in order to drive up the value of the home (and get back at Lily, who regularly comes off looking homophobic while trying to argue with Marshall). During the open house, potential buyers are treated to a number of Barney's anti-skank inventions including:

• A door mat that discreetly measures weight and BMI, so that Barney wouldn't inadvertently bring home a chubby girl.
• "The Room With A Screw": Green screens that convince gullible girls they are somewhere romantic.
• An "Escape From Bitch Mountain" exit slide so that Barney can leave when a one-night stand overstays her welcome.
• Sprinklers that activate at the phrases "I want a deeper commitment", "I'm a week late", "I'm too tired", "Let's Snuggle" and "We have a child together." "Barney, I'm getting wet" turns it off.

Despite all of this, a couple does want to but the house. However, Robin cancels the deal after she learns that the buyers want to tear the entire apartment out. She reveals this to him at (where else?) McLaren's after Barney admits that he's ready to sell the house in a long analogy about the Superman movies (It ends with "I love you and the Superman movies are uneven").

Robin says that if she got rid of the creepy sociopathic side of Barney, he would no longer be Barney. Considering it was an insane people-manipulating plot that brought them together in the first place, this makes sense.

Lily finally puts her foot down to the Captain and gets to spend time with Marshall. Everyone compromises, everyone's happy (except Ted).