Jason Collins Gay: Carolyn Moos Tells Her Side Of The 8-Year Relationship, Is Carolyn Still Angry At NBA Star? [READ EXCERPTS]

Carolyn Moos opens up about her failed relationship with NBA star Jason Collins and his coming out as the first openly gay athlete in a new Cosmopolitan feature.

After eight years of dating Jason called off the wedding and left Carolyn without any answers and now she opens up about her relationship.

Read the excerpt here:

A MONTH BEFORE I was set to marry the man I loved, he called off the wedding. I had no idea why. He and I had been together for eight years. We had planned to have children, build a family. Nearly four years later, I got my answer. My former fiancé, Jason Collins, a pro basketball player with the Washington Wizards, announced last spring in Sports Illustrated that he is gay.

Jason told me he's gay over the phone on a Monday morning in April, the same day the magazine hit newsstands. However, he didn't mention the article-that came as a surprise when I heard about it from a friend. In his essay, Jason wrote that he'd once been engaged to a woman. Reporters zoomed in on me, thrusting my name into the news. My in-box exploded with e-mails from women saying the same thing had happened to them. I'm sharing what I've learned from my experience in hopes that it might help others.

The day Jason canceled the wedding was surreal. It was July of 2009, and he had just returned home from a road trip with his twin brother, Jarron. I had been living with Jason in Los Angeles for the previous year, ever since our engagement. He told me, "You may want to sit down." I loved this man deeply. He was intelligent, good-humored, handsome, and importantly, taller than I am-7 feet. (I'm 6 feet 5 and a former pro basketball player myself.) His words didn't make sense to me, and they hit me hard, freezing my heart. "I'm just not sure," he said. There were no tangible reasons, no explanations.

I opened the front door and ran, my mind spinning with questions. I wanted answers. I'm an analytical person, a planner. I make things work. I wanted to know what was wrong so I could fix it. I thought perhaps something was wrong with me. I kept running until I ran out of breath. When I returned, he tried to calm me, but I couldn't stop crying.

The first time I laid eyes on Jason, I had been running as well. It was the fall of 1997, the first day of my freshman year at Stanford University. I had just gone out for a jog when I ran smack into Jason and Jarron-two towering, stunning guys. I stopped and introduced myself, thrilled to meet people who were actually taller than I am. I was attracted to Jason but shy. We had a brief chat, and I kept running. I called my mom that night and said, "I think I'm going to be at home at Stanford-I feel normal, like I fit in."

I hadn't exactly been "normal" growing up in Minneapolis. For one thing, I had rocketed to 6 feet tall by sixth grade. I embraced my height, learning everything from hockey to ballet; I was both a tomboy and a girlie girl. When I discovered basketball, I truly found myself. I loved the rhythm, the artistry of the game. It was like dancing on the court. I excelled, winning a gold medal in the Junior Olympics, and college recruiters came calling. I chose Stanford because academics were as important to me as athletics.

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